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The Regret Reviews

A collection of wholly unreliable, unverified, and often unhinged reader responses. Not one of them is real. Every single one is useful.

Glossary: Romantasycide

Romantasycide (noun) — The fatal collision of romance and delusion.
First recorded by Austeria DeGrout in The Author Regrets: Plum Foolery (Breedles Publishing, 2025).

Usage: “Her latest work is pure romantasycide.”

Related terms: Swamp Erotica, Grilled-Cheese Theology, Bin Council Literature.

Romantasycide Definition Card

Breedles Publishing — Home of Romantasycide and other literary misdemeanours.

"A violent flirtation with structure."

— Godfrey, The Quarterly Pother

"I honked once in laughter. Then once in grief."

— Galahtina, ghost and galah

"Reads like a prophecy after a long lunch."

— Mothgirl

"I am both disturbed and aroused."

— Anonymous reader at Bunnings

"It smelled of thyme and danger."

— Scharnelle

"Five stars for effort, two for accuracy."

— Local Book Club President

Praise for The League of the Moon Mustard Rebellion

  • 🌕 “I read it twice. Once for the plot. Once for the mayonnaise.”
  • 🌕 “Godfrey says it’s legally a book. Reuben disagrees.”
  • 🌕 “Emotionally hollow, structurally cursed. I loved it.”
  • 🌕 “The font bled. The canvas ruptured. Five stars.”
  • 🌕 “I couldn’t put it down. Mostly because it was stuck to the dog.”
  • 🌕 “A great read. If you define ‘great’ as ‘wombat-adjacent.’”

Praise for Book Three of the League of the Condiment Moon

  • 🌕 “I didn’t read Books One or Two. I don’t think they exist.”
  • 🌕 “Book Three opens mid-sabotage. I respect that.”
  • 🌕 “The emotional logic is intact. The chronology is not.”
  • 🌕 “I felt like I missed something. Turns out that was the point.”